Today, I’m thankful for one last day on vacation and for a day off at home tomorrow before I go back to work. I’m thankful that I got to spend a ton of time with my family over the last week. And, I’m thnakful I get to sleep in my own bed, next to my wife, tonight.
Archive for the ‘Boys’ Tag
Today, I am thankful for my youngest son, Weston Max. Like I’ve said the last few days, my family is what keeps me going… and West is no exception.
West is a ball of energy, stubborn as can be. He’s always challenging but it’s not because he’s naughty, it’s because he’s unique. He loves his big brother and very obviously looks up to him already, but that doesn’t mean he’s just like his brother. He’s vastly different.
Cash is super verbal and Weston communicates much differently than Cash. While his vocabulary and speech are just starting to blossom, he’s always been strongest at communicating through his touch and his emotion. He also figures out how to do things with his hands much quicker than I remember Cash ever doing. For instance, he opened doors before he could really even reach them, while Cash didn’t really understand doorknobs until 3 or 4 years old.
Weston’s stubbornness and 90 mph speed at all times will wear out even a supernanny, but he makes it all worth it with his smile and his simple utterance of “I love you so much”. He insists on singing a prayer song before bed every day and often continues to pray for everyone in the family 3-4 extra times so that he doesn’t have to go to sleep yet. When he gets excited, he is literally the cutest thing on Earth.
I couldn’t imagine life with him… or Cash… or Brooke.
Today, I’m thankful for West. Today, I’m thankful that I have an amazing family to care for and grow with.
Today, I’m thankful for my Cashman. I’m ridiculously thankful for both of my sons, but today I’d like to focus on my eldest, Cash Hendrix. He is 5 and a half, starts kindergarten in the Fall, and is a very smart and interesting little dude. Like all children, he has he naughty moments, can be defiant, and is certainly no angel. But there are moments where he just makes my heart melt with little comments and questions that are wise beyond his short years. He gets so excited about small things, like falling asleep in bed with me, taking a 5 minute dip in the hot tub once his brother is asleep, and having his momma snuggle up in his bed for a few minutes when she gets home late from derby practice. And, despite brotherly fights and arguing, I catch him doing big brother things like sharing a toy, getting his little brother a drink from the kitchen, or trying to calm his little brother when upset. I love and cherish my little man… my little man who is growing up too fast.
Lately, I’ve been singing this song in my head a bunch. It’s from my high school years by a Christian punk band that I booked for a show when I was 15. The drummer, Russ, wrote it for his first son. I just wanted to share. I think it pretty much sums up how I feel when it comes to both of my boys.
I’m already sorry for all of the harm that is to come
I’m already thankful for the man I know that you’ll become
So, look up and laugh, we’ll cross that finish line together
Sleep tight tonight child and I will be watching over you
Rest assured God will be watching over you
All you need to learn, I’ll keep you safe from harm
I’d do all it takes
I’d lay down my life as long as I know you’ll be all right
I give you all my victories ’cause without you I’m not quite me
Rest assured I said I’d never leave
Today, I’m thankful it’s Friday. But I’m also thankful for many other things, especially my wife, her name is Brooke.
It’s been almost 10 years that we’ve been married, pushing 12 that we’ve been together. It hasn’t always been easy and I know it won’t always be easy moving forward either. But, I can honestly say that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I haven’t always been perfect, but you’ve accepted me and helped me become a better person. We’ve learned how to communicate with each other better and better, always being honest and being better at knowing how and when to talk to each other about how we feel. We’ve been able to learn together how to be parents, how to support the each other in the different roles we each must take, and how to help each other deal with the challenge of being a parent on a daily basis. You have made it possible for me to get through the hard times and truly relish the good times. I like to think I help you a little bit, too.
Through our ups and downs with finances, our jobs, and other wordly garbage, I’ve always felt that like leaning on each other helps us realize what really matters. To me, you really matter. Our boys, the greatest gifts you’ve ever given me, matter. Family and friends matter. We’ll get through all of the money pinches, work frustrations, and daily struggles because we have each other.
It’s only a brief little message that can’t nearly express how much you mean to me, but I just want you to know that you are one of the things in life that I am most thankful for. I love you.
All of me,
That Chubby Guy Who is Still Crushing on You
I’m thankful I had a great weekend with my wife and kiddos, as well as a nice visit from my pops.
I’m thankful for my extended family who have put up with me for about a decade so far.
I’m thankful for giving and receiving support in the midst of struggle.
I’m thankful that I’m alive and healthy… and that I’m working on being healthier.
I’m thankful for a beautiful wife to share this journey with.
I’m thankful for my two amazingly beautiful little boys.
I’m thankful for so many blessings that remind me that the tough shit is all worth and that there is always a reason to keep fighting.
It’s been nearly a month since I posted… since I posted anything I’m thankful for… since I’ve posted anything at all on here…
I’ve been unmotivated… unmotivated to be at work… unmotivated to post here or on my music/media/culture website… unmotivated to do much of anything that I don’t really have to do… unmotivated to do some of the things that I do have to do…
I feel trapped… trapped by the capitalist machine where I work in order to get ahead, but don’t actually feel like I get ahead… trapped by mortality, seeing people I care about pass away, being reminded that they are gone… trapped by my own mortality, my own illnesses, however small, reminding me that life is fleeting…
I feel guilty… guilty that I am not yet who or where I want to be… guilty that I cannot always be the perfect father or perfect husband… guilty that I cannot reach the ideal…
But today I’ve spent so much time on a huge introspective journey. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep or the medications I’m adjusting to or something in the air… but I realize that feeling guilty, unmotivated, trapped, and whatever other feelings that have been bogging me down is not at all productive. I need to get back on the thankfulness train, I need to regain my positive outlook, I need to focus on what matters…
My wife matters… she is my #1 person in my life.
My kids matter… they are why I push through the crap, who I work to provide for.
My health matters… because I need to be able to be there for these boys and that beautiful woman.
Being able to let go of grief, pain, guilt, fear, anger, and unproductive feelings matters… because dwelling on them only fucks up my ability to be a better husband, father, follower of Christ… just a better me.
So, today I am making (yet another) pact with myself. Today, I’m letting the shit go. Today, I’m going to make a decided effort to strengthen my faith, let go of what bogs me down, and just do the best I can.
Today, I’m thankful for second (third, fourth, and so on) chances. Today, I’m thankful for the important things. Today, I’m thankful for new beginnings. Today, I’m thankful for support and love. Today, I’m thankful that I have so many things to be thankful about.
Yesterday, I was thankful for a nice Spring day and some quality snuggle time with my boys.
Today, I’m thankful for hope.
Today, I’m thankful that I have a great loving family. While I am now quite exhausted, I’ve had a lot of fun setting up my 5 year old’s bedroom with him today. My 3 year old is so frustrating… but then gives me a big hug and says “I luh you so much dad” and it all fades away. These little dudes and their mom make life worth living!
Yesterday, I was thankful for friends old and new. Got to do lunch with an old college friend and met with some new friends at the local community center last night.
Today, I’m thankful for snuggle time in the big bed with my boys and a nice lazy day.