Archive for the ‘Kids’ Tag

Thanks, July 19th

Saturday, July 19th, 2014

Today, I’m thankful for my Cashman. I’m ridiculously thankful for both of my sons, but today I’d like to focus on my eldest, Cash Hendrix. He is 5 and a half, starts kindergarten in the Fall, and is a very smart and interesting little dude. Like all children, he has he naughty moments, can be defiant, and is certainly no angel. But there are moments where he just makes my heart melt with little comments and questions that are wise beyond his short years. He gets so excited about small things, like falling asleep in bed with me, taking a 5 minute dip in the hot tub once his brother is asleep, and having his momma snuggle up in his bed for a few minutes when she gets home late from derby practice. And, despite brotherly fights and arguing, I catch him doing big brother things like sharing a toy, getting his little brother a drink from the kitchen, or trying to calm his little brother when upset. I love and cherish my little man… my little man who is growing up too fast.

Lately, I’ve been singing this song in my head a bunch. It’s from my high school years by a Christian punk band that I booked for a show when I was 15. The drummer, Russ, wrote it for his first son. I just wanted to share. I think it pretty much sums up how I feel when it comes to both of my boys.

I’m already sorry for all of the harm that is to come
I’m already thankful for the man I know that you’ll become
So, look up and laugh, we’ll cross that finish line together
Sleep tight tonight child and I will be watching over you
Rest assured God will be watching over you

All you need to learn, I’ll keep you safe from harm
I’d do all it takes
I’d lay down my life as long as I know you’ll be all right
I give you all my victories ’cause without you I’m not quite me
Rest assured I said I’d never leave

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Move Forward! Let it Go!

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

It’s been nearly a month since I posted… since I posted anything I’m thankful for… since I’ve posted anything at all on here…

I’ve been unmotivated… unmotivated to be at work… unmotivated to post here or on my music/media/culture website… unmotivated to do much of anything that I don’t really have to do… unmotivated to do some of the things that I do have to do…

I feel trapped… trapped by the capitalist machine where I work in order to get ahead, but don’t actually feel like I get ahead… trapped by mortality, seeing people I care about pass away, being reminded that they are gone… trapped by my own mortality, my own illnesses, however small, reminding me that life is fleeting…

I feel guilty… guilty that I am not yet who or where I want to be… guilty that I cannot always be the perfect father or perfect husband… guilty that I cannot reach the ideal…

But today I’ve spent so much time on a huge introspective journey. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep or the medications I’m adjusting to or something in the air… but I realize that feeling guilty, unmotivated, trapped, and whatever other feelings that have been bogging me down is not at all productive. I need to get back on the thankfulness train, I need to regain my positive outlook, I need to focus on what matters…

My wife matters… she is my #1 person in my life.

My kids matter… they are why I push through the crap, who I work to provide for.

My health matters… because I need to be able to be there for these boys and that beautiful woman.

Being able to let go of grief, pain, guilt, fear, anger, and unproductive feelings matters… because dwelling on them only fucks up my ability to be a better husband, father, follower of Christ… just a better me.

So, today I am making (yet another) pact with myself. Today, I’m letting the shit go. Today, I’m going to make a decided effort to strengthen my faith, let go of what bogs me down, and just do the best I can.

Today, I’m thankful for second (third, fourth, and so on) chances. Today, I’m thankful for the important things. Today, I’m thankful for new beginnings. Today, I’m thankful for support and love. Today, I’m thankful that I have so many things to be thankful about.

Thanks, Days 125-126

Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

Yesterday and today, I’ve been preoccupied with a situation. Essentially, I’m waiting to hear some news… I think it should be great news but I’m trying to tamper my expectations, just in case.

With that, I’m thankful for the prayers of my friends, the support of my family, and the distractions my kids provide from my annoying anxiety.

Today, I’m also thankful for the gorgeous weather, which will provide the perfect backdrop for a nice run/walk today.

Thanks, Days 117-118

Monday, April 28th, 2014

Yesterday, I was thankful for a nice Spring day and some quality snuggle time with my boys.

Today, I’m thankful for hope.

Thanks, Day 85

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

To be honest, today has been pissing me off. I was upset about a family situation for a big chunk of the day. I’m sick of reading stories of stupid Christians who don’t represent Jesus at all. I’m tired of being told that I can’t call a bigot a bigot, because people has religious rights. I find 90 % of social media pudding me off…

But, I’m thankful for this personal assignment. I’m thankful that I wanted to do this. Forcing myself to think on what I’m thankful for today makes me shift focus, if only for a few minutes.

I’m thankful I’m a dad and a husband. I’m thankful for my three greatest blessings. I love you, Cash, Weston, and Brookie!

Today, I’m thankful that I am remembering to be thankful!

Thanks, Day 53

Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Today, I’m thankful that I’m able to lounge around this morning with my kiddos and my dogs. And I’m thankful that my breakfast turned out so awesome.

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Thanks, Days 40-42

Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

On Sunday, I was very thankful for some quiet time to finish chores while my kids were at Sunday School.

I was also extremely thankful for how much my little man, Weston, enjoyed his 3rd birthday party.

Yesterday, I was thankful that my little man turned three… here’s hoping to the end if the terrible twos.

Last night, I was thankful that I got my weekly grad school paper done in time, even if it was only 1 minute before the deadline… literally!

Today, I’m thankful that I get to bring my Cashman to see THE LEGO MOVIE! Woot woot!

Thanks, Days 30-32

Saturday, February 1st, 2014

On Thursday, I was very thankful that a meeting I had been dreading turned out well. The person who I expected to want to knock out in the meeting was actually helpful and productive.

Yesterday, I was very thankful that I had the chance to cuddle and relax with my wife. We watched and enjoyed Ender’s Game. While not at great as the book, it was solid.

So far, this morning, I am thankful that my boys have finally begun to chill and just play nice with each other. Weston (my little guy) has been super disobedient the last few days. Cash (my older one) has been doing a great job brushing him off and being good, mostly. This morning, they were fighting for a bit, but are playing really well together now… so well, in fact, that I feel like posting this is a serious jinx…

Thanks, Day 28-29

Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

Yesterday, I was thankful for a good dinner and the means to make and enjoy a good dinner.

Today, I am extremely thankful for my wife. I’m thankful for her grace in putting up with my kids’ crap. I’m thankful for her live and affection. I’m thankful that she cares so much for our kids, even when they are rude, ungrateful, and naughty as hell. I am thankful that God put us in each other’s lives.

Thanks, Day 18

Sunday, January 19th, 2014

Today, I’m thankful I got to join in the fun at the PRDR end of the year party/dance/whatever. I wasn’t planning on attending, but my dad encouraged me to go and he stayed home with my boys (who were already asleep when I headed out). It was a nice way to spend time with my favorite gals in the world, including my most favorite gal.

Today, I’m also thankful for having a great relationship with my Dad. We weren’t always close, but over the last decade of my life, our relationship has grown and I’m very thankful to have him in my life.

And, finally, today, I am thankful for help from family and friends in dealing with my sons when I want to throw them out of a window. Being able to walk away for a few minutes really, really, really helps.