Archive for the ‘Life’ Tag

Thanks, August 29th

Friday, August 29th, 2014

Today, I’m thankful that the Summer is ending and that we are entering a new season. With each new season comes a rebirth, a chance to move into a new season of life, a new opportunity. This Fall won’t be easier than the Summer or the Spring before it, but it’s a reminder that I again have a chance to work on the things I want to change about my life, my health, myself…

Today, I look forward to continuing to strengthen the things in my life that I love about life while decrease yet energy I focus into the wrong things. Today, I again thank God for my present and my future… and a chance to keep shaping that present and future.

Thanks, July 18th

Friday, July 18th, 2014

Today, I’m thankful it’s Friday. But I’m also thankful for many other things, especially my wife, her name is Brooke.

Brooke,

It’s been almost 10 years that we’ve been married, pushing 12 that we’ve been together. It hasn’t always been easy and I know it won’t always be easy moving forward either. But, I can honestly say that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I haven’t always been perfect, but you’ve accepted me and helped me become a better person. We’ve learned how to communicate with each other better and better, always being honest and being better at knowing how and when to talk to each other about how we feel. We’ve been able to learn together how to be parents, how to support the each other in the different roles we each must take, and how to help each other deal with the challenge of being a parent on a daily basis. You have made it possible for me to get through the hard times and truly relish the good times. I like to think I help you a little bit, too.

Through our ups and downs with finances, our jobs, and other wordly garbage, I’ve always felt that like leaning on each other helps us realize what really matters. To me, you really matter. Our boys, the greatest gifts you’ve ever given me, matter. Family and friends matter. We’ll get through all of the money pinches, work frustrations, and daily struggles because we have each other.

It’s only a brief little message that can’t nearly express how much you mean to me, but I just want you to know that you are one of the things in life that I am most thankful for. I love you.

All of me,
That Chubby Guy Who is Still Crushing on You

Move Forward! Let it Go!

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

It’s been nearly a month since I posted… since I posted anything I’m thankful for… since I’ve posted anything at all on here…

I’ve been unmotivated… unmotivated to be at work… unmotivated to post here or on my music/media/culture website… unmotivated to do much of anything that I don’t really have to do… unmotivated to do some of the things that I do have to do…

I feel trapped… trapped by the capitalist machine where I work in order to get ahead, but don’t actually feel like I get ahead… trapped by mortality, seeing people I care about pass away, being reminded that they are gone… trapped by my own mortality, my own illnesses, however small, reminding me that life is fleeting…

I feel guilty… guilty that I am not yet who or where I want to be… guilty that I cannot always be the perfect father or perfect husband… guilty that I cannot reach the ideal…

But today I’ve spent so much time on a huge introspective journey. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep or the medications I’m adjusting to or something in the air… but I realize that feeling guilty, unmotivated, trapped, and whatever other feelings that have been bogging me down is not at all productive. I need to get back on the thankfulness train, I need to regain my positive outlook, I need to focus on what matters…

My wife matters… she is my #1 person in my life.

My kids matter… they are why I push through the crap, who I work to provide for.

My health matters… because I need to be able to be there for these boys and that beautiful woman.

Being able to let go of grief, pain, guilt, fear, anger, and unproductive feelings matters… because dwelling on them only fucks up my ability to be a better husband, father, follower of Christ… just a better me.

So, today I am making (yet another) pact with myself. Today, I’m letting the shit go. Today, I’m going to make a decided effort to strengthen my faith, let go of what bogs me down, and just do the best I can.

Today, I’m thankful for second (third, fourth, and so on) chances. Today, I’m thankful for the important things. Today, I’m thankful for new beginnings. Today, I’m thankful for support and love. Today, I’m thankful that I have so many things to be thankful about.